Communicating Through Conflict

     This week's assignment asked me to think of a disagreement or conflict that I have had recently with someone in my professional or personal life and to think about some ways that I could have handled the situation differently.
     A recent argument that I had with my sister revolved around her opinion of things that occurred when we were children.  She is not speaking to my mother which creates a family tension for all of us, especially around the holidays.  In trying to get the two to reach some common ground, I ended up in an argument with my sister as well.  Many of the things that she said were not as I remembered them happening.  I became irate and I yelled over her and said that I was tired of everything being all about her and the drama that she was creating for the family over something that happened over ten years ago. 
     In reading the material for this week and thinking about the 3 Rs and NVC strategies, I see where there were things that I could have done differently that could have prevented the argument from spreading to included me.  First of all, I think that the conversation would have gone differently had I listened to what she had to say rather than shutting her down the first time that she said something that was not how I remember it being.  This would have prevented me form speaking out of frustration and allowed me a moment to hear her before responding.  A second strategy that I think would have been useful in this situation would have been to show respect for the way that she recalled the events.  I felt bad for jumping on her as though she had lied because in all honesty, it could be that it was her perception of the events.
    

Communcation Styles

What is the one thing that surprised you the most? Why?

In taking the verbal aggressiveness scale results on the test that I took in reference to myself and the ones taken by my husband and a friend, I did not perceive myself to be as aggressive as they rated me to be.  My score was 54, but my husband's score was 73 and my friend's was 68 which was borderline.  This surprised me because I do not feel that I am aggressive when talking with others, but then again I do talk to my husband more candidly than I would a coworker or a student.  

 What other insights about communication did you gain this week?

1)     I learned through the listening styles inventory that I am a people oriented listener.  I think that this is important to my career as an educator because it means that I can learn from my colleagues and from my students.  It also means that I can take in information to help the students and their families to the best of my ability.   

2)      I learned that my communication anxiety depends on the situation that I am placed in.  I am comfortable in a small group setting, but when I have to speak in front of a large crowd I tend to get nervous.  I think that this is important to my career as an educator because I can control some situations and only have to address smaller groups of people.  If there were to be a time that I had to address a larger group of people, I could find some effective ways to help myself feel more at ease in the situation.

 Choose at least two to share with others through your blog and consider how each might inform your professional work and personal life.

Culture and Communication

I would have to say that I do find myself communicating differently with people of other cultures.  I think that this is more out of respect for them than anything negative.  I am usually very careful in what I say so as to not offend anyone.  I try to make sure that my gestures and the words that I use are not something that would offend someone from another culture in any way.


The three strategies that I have learned this week that I feel would be helpful in communicating with someone from a different group or culture are;


1) Listen to what is being said in order to comprehend it whether you agree with what is being said or not.


2) Maintain eye contact with the speaker and ask questions if something is said that you do not understand.


3) Do not take what is said personally; just as you are not familiar with the culture of the speaker, they may not be aware of things in your culture that you would find offensive.

Communication Skills and Styles

     The show that chose to watch for this week's assignment was Burn Notice; this is a show that comes on USA about spies.  I chose to watch this show because my husband likes it, but I have never gotten into it. 

     The characters in the beginning of the show are two men.  I would suspect that the men do not get along based on the way that they stand and the looks on their faces when conversing.  There was also a part in the show where the man meets with a woman who is in jail.  They are both crying and appear to be very upset.  

     In watching the show again with the sound on, I found out that the two men are actually friends and they are working together to get the woman out of jail.  The expressions on their faces now seem to show intense emotion during the discussion rather than dislike.  The conversation between the woman and man at the jail was correct; both were sad because the female was in jail and the man had not been able to help her get out.

     I think if I had watched a show where I was familiar with the characters I think that I would have been able to better judge their facial expressions and body language with the sound off.  I would be able make sense of the body language more if I knew the demeanor of the character and the relationship in between characters.